By Daniel Colombo
Perhaps one of the great human contradictions is the fear of success . Most people yearn for this conquest in different aspects of their lives, and yet they are paralyzed by the possibility. It is an unconscious mechanism, by which the person apparently wants, declares and determines that he wants to be successful; and, inside, it withdraws and does not act on it.
If you avoid or miss opportunities; you feel guilty for the successful outcome in any aspect of your life; you put aside projects that would be important to you because you think that you would generate a feeling of envy in others; Or do you think that if you are successful you would stop being humble… it is highly probable that, in truth, what you suffer is the fear of success.
The 5 common reasons, and how to solve them
1. Fear of failure. Consecrated as the root of fear, failure is one of the greatest limiting projections. People are always thinking negatively, and generally the person neglects to consider all the rewarding aspects that could be obtained by achieving the success they desire.
Tools: evaluate what is the worst that can happen. Plan actions into small goals and put them into action. Keep your vision on your end goal and be flexible to correct course and start over as many times as necessary.
2. Fear of not feeling worthy of success. Many people have grown up in oppressive environments, and this determines that their thinking and positive emotions are limited by those paradigms that, although they are in the past, have repercussions in the present.
Tools: Do permanent work of self-esteem and recognition. You need to connect your goal of success with a sense of worthiness – you will achieve it by practicing every day. Your 100% commitment to yourself will be key, regardless of what has influenced you in the past. Use your inner strength as a guide.
3. Fear of what they will say. Although it seems unusual, most people live seeking approval, mainly because it seems to them that this is a guarantee of feeling accepted and loved. Hence the fear of the opinions of others. Successful people know that there will be many people who will support them, and others who will envy them and will do their best to put the bats in the wheel.
Tools : Get rid of prejudices that are not yours, but of others. Relativize what they tell you depending on who is coming. Work internally on developing techniques so that you don’t care about the malicious opinions of others. You can establish internal limits to know how far you will accept their opinion about your path to success; And indeed, there will be many heartfelt affections that could help you when the going gets tough.
4. Fear of not being able to handle success. Society reproduces countless personal improvement stories in which ordinary people have achieved remarkable success; many of them have lost it, and others did not know how to channel it because “success went to their heads,” they say. This fear of contagion appears frequently in those who do not accept their conditions or accept that they can achieve it, and put it before their desire and goals.
Tools: Fear is inherent in humans, and it can be a great force forward, rather than stopping you. Rest assured that you will find a way to handle the success you deserve in a good way. You will be able to surround yourself with a team that will accompany you to achieve your goals, and, at the same time, focus on leaving your legacy in the world. In this way you will find the internal balance you need, trusting in the process of life.
5. Fear of feeling alone and different from people in your usual circle. Another aspect associated with successful people is that they will be overwhelmed by loneliness, and that they will withdraw from their affections.
Tools : With or without success you will feel lonely at times, and the fact of having it does not mean that you should be different from how you were. You can take advantage of your “before” qualities of success to strengthen them while you live it, and surround yourself with people who truly love you and accept your evolution with joy. Of course there will be many who want to take advantage, and others who move away: it is natural, and it is part of the law of life. The keys are to enter into total acceptance, understanding and avoiding judging yourself for what others do, since it is something over which you have no influence.