By Gustavo Giorgi
“Have you acted in accordance with the desire that inhabits you?” Jacques Lacan, Sem VII “The ethics of Psychoanalysis”
I am sure there are many more good ideas than there are ventures, and one of the main reasons for this is people’s fear of starting them.
This article is aimed at all those who at some point imagined having their own business, resigning their job in pursuit of an enterprise or carrying out a personal project such as having a family and could not carry it out due to their own mental difficulties.
The 6 ideas to lose the fear of undertaking
1. The change depends on our choice
The neurotic often thinks in terms of imaginary losses and therefore seems to always want to win. It focuses more on what you could lose rather than the possible gains. First of all, we have to know that whenever we make a decision we will be leaving something aside. Lossless choice is only possible in fiction or dreams, but not in reality. Therefore, I think that the first step is to assume that being better is the consequence of our decision.
2. Survey the resources you have
A good way to understand what this is about is by categorizing them into vital, psychological, economic and social.
It is necessary to determine the state of our physical health, since the brain thinks much better when its carrier is healthy. The Latin principle of Mens Sana in Corpore Sano is still perfectly valid.
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Then, know what our mood is at that moment, being attentive to its extremes. The ideal would be to be balanced since if we are sad we could assume that only the success in the project would get us out of there, and this magnification of its power would become even more overwhelming. Also, note that, if we feel exultant and euphoric, we can neglect critical aspects of the project.
Regarding the economic resources, they are easily understandable, not deserving a special detention in them, something that the social ones do. Many times we do not value or justly appreciate the enormous capacity of ties in our emotional well-being. Having a solid network of friends or family will allow us to have support when we need it, it will be able to provide us with other points of view and, why not, alternatives to our ideas.
3. Set expectations correctly
Both ours and the other party, are possible users, consumers of our product or service and even a potential partner.
An expectation is a hope that combines both rational and emotional aspects. And I think it is important to work on both, in equal parts.
Let us take the time necessary to clarify and agree on both commercial and emotional relationships. Regarding the first, it is essential that we empathize with the client so much as to know their expectations in depth, and then, articulate them with what we are able to offer. Let us not promise what we cannot deliver.
And about affective relationships, something similar happens. The suggestion is to talk about important issues right from the start. Child ownership and rearing, money management, long-term projects, and so on.
It is about adjusting as much as possible what each one expects from the other party, being as transparent and honest as possible in communication.
It is about adjusting to the maximum what each one expects from the other party / Image: Depositphotos.com
4. Don’t idealize!
Idealization consists of endowing an object, person or circumstance with extraordinary powers and capacities.
Action typical of the first stages of thought but which is not abandoned later in adulthood.
Idealizing an enterprise is expressed in phrases such as: “With this we save ourselves for life” , “It will be the future of my children” or “I need this to walk to be happy .”
Let’s not anchor all or most of our condition of existence to the success of a project. Let us know that the perfect idea does not exist and that even the most successful ventures also have flaws.
5. It won’t work out the first time
It is crucial that we value that the first victory is in the attempt itself, beyond the result.
Reward and acknowledge your action. That you cheered up on the first try. Then, it will come time to calmly analyze what happened so that you can adjust and refine everything you need. Now celebrate …
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6. Don’t delay any longer
I read the term “procrastination” for the first time when Lacan was talking about Hamlet. Today is in fashion …
To procrastinate is to postpone indefinitely. For another day, next year or simply, later and in that it takes place from simple things like changing a light bulb to deep questions like investing in a business.
Once again, procrastinating avoids knowing about our desire and in this postponement there is discomfort and the experience of not being able to avoid it. There is a compulsion not to do.
Acting in accordance with our own desire will take work, determination and courage. It will not be a path of roses or thorns. It will be our path and it will have the soil that we can put on it at that time.
Let’s go. It’s over there. Let’s go. Worth it!